Faster, Higher, Stronger

Anyone who knows me knows that my attention span for athletic events– any athletic events– is pretty short (read: nonexistent), and my understanding of athletics, even less (read: negative existent). My uncle loves to tell the story of the time when I sat by him at a Hartford Whaler’s hockey game and earnestly asked why a player was sent to the penalty box for “stick holding”… aren’t they all holding sticks?  And it wasn’t but three or four years ago that I turned to my older sister while watching a Red Sox game from her couch to declare that the “back-catcher”‘s pants looked far too tight, and he should really loosen his belt.  Once she understood that I was referring to the umpire, it was a hot second before all other members of my immediate family caught wind of my idiotic remark (thank you, texting).  And, lest I forget… perhaps not just a testament to my lack of sports sense, but common sense too… the time, MANY YEARS AGO, when I asked how many quarters were in a football game.  Good one, Christine.

But, the Olympics I can get behind.  There’s something special about an event that can incite so much patriotism and camaraderie… even I have to jump on the bandwagon.  Politics and religion and Sox versus Yankees and everything that we feud about are set aside, and so long as we’re all tuned into NBC, we’re all on the same team. Team USA.  I always laugh at those guys who get so invested in their team that they won’t change their underwear or brush their teeth until the championship is through.  Honestly, do you really think that your ugly, patchy, grody whiskers are so divine that you’ll squander a Superbowl victory if you so much as give ’em a trim?  Yes, I do realize that this is often done in jest, but then I have to wonder: is it really?  Some part of them, I think, really believes it.

Well, this is a shout out to all you grody bearded fellas with the foul-smelling breath!  This is to say, that while I will continue to wash my underwear, I can kind of almost see where you’re coming from. Because when those Olympians stand up on that podium, the American flag triumphantly billowing behind them and the Star-Spangled Banner sounding out of my television set, a part of me truly believes that I have a claim to some of that gold hanging around their necks.  And when they’re blubbering into the reporter’s microphone that “this one’s for you, America!”, some part of me really does swell with pride.  You’re welcome, Michael Phelps!  You are welcome.

So, yesterday morning I suddenly got very excited for the big event, and was quickly disappointed to find that the Internet had failed me.  Alas, I’d been able to find next to zero coverage on YouTube so early in the morn, and no satisfactory streaming sites.  I’m going to keep hunting, but, as chance would have it, I did manage front row seats to Suphan’s own little version of the Olympics this past week.  And, while perhaps it was no London 2012 Opening Ceremony, the students at Sa-Nguan Ying did put on quite the impressive show!

Imagine the curiously Thai love-child of the Olympic Games and a U.S. Field Day, at a Lady Gaga concert, and that was the Sa’Nguan Ying Sport Festival.  Schools and universities all over the country shut down for this annual spectacle of color, choreography, competition, and camaraderie.  And it was awesome.

The students were divided into teams and assigned a color, around which the older kids led the littles in designing costumes, banners, chants, and cheers.  On the first day of the Sport Festival, the kids paraded from the market in the city-center to school, banging drums, twirling batons, and pushing home-fashioned floats down the street as cars, motorbikes, and tuk-tuks weaved in and out.  Yes, remember that this is Thailand, people… no streets were shut down in the making of this parade. Instead, the children and motorbikes shared the road peacefully as one.

They looked so grown up… It was hard to believe these are our kids!

Some of the older girls donned traditional Thai dress, poofy princess gowns, or Gaga-inspired warrior dresses, while the M1’s and 2’s charged into battle with cardboard swords and pompoms in hand.

Eyeballs and the Earths seemed to be reoccurring themes, but I’ll have to ask my kids for more on that on Monday.

After the parade, the students stood in groups behind their team banner while the National Anthem was played, opening remarks made, and the torch– yes, the torch– was lit.

Next came the cheerleading competition. But Thai cheerleading, I learned, is far more theatrical than any I’ve seen stateside.  In a word, it was a production. While the kids danced and cheered in funky and elaborate costumes, equipped with sets and props, their color teammates in the stands had their own choreography to perform, waving flags and fans and pompoms, while others chanted and amp-ed up the crowd with their drum beats.  Every kid in the school had a role to play, and each one carried out their duty with heaps of enthusiasm!

And, finally it was onto the football and basketball tourneys.  On Day 2 of the Sport Festival I watched my M4 boys face my M5 boys in a bball match.  Torn between my babies, I found myself cheering for both teams.

In the end, M4 was no match for Nai and his jump shot

Luckily, this won’t be a problem during the Olympics.  The US has my allegiance, of course, but still, it doesn’t feel right rooting against Thailand, which has been my home for nearly 10 months.  So, I’ve decided that since a Muay Thai gym here in town has welcomed the other farang and myself to work out with them for free, and because it is a super bad ass National Sport, Thailand can share my support in the Olympic boxing ring, and the U.S. can have the lot of it everywhere else.

And, of course, I’ll be cheering for Donn Cabral, the baby brother of an old high school friend, as he represents Team USA in the Steeplechase.  If Michael Phelps and his 12,000 calorie diet can win this anti-athlete’s attention, you better believe that I’ll be tuning in to see Donny kill it on the track.  Still, finding a place to watch the Games while I am weekending on the tropical island paradise of Ko Tao next Friday might prove difficult…

… I’m crying you a river as we speak. 🙂

Thailand: Uncensored

Yeah, so we all know I’m biased.  Every time you visit my blog, you think “There she goes again! Telling me how awesome Thailand is blah blah blah blah blah my life is so fantastic!  yadda yadda yadda. Vomit.”

It’s okay, I get it.  So, in the interest of the “big picture,” I’ve compiled a list of what I think my siblings and cousin would consider the ups, the downs, the highs, the lows… what they loved most about Thailand, but also the things they could’ve gone without.  So here it is– Thailand: unbiased and uncensored. This is what happens when your Thai vacation stops being polite and starts getting real.

The names of places: HIGH

Thailand offers no shortage of amusement for the twenty-something-year-old male with the maturity level of an eleven year-old boy.  Enter: my brother Dan.  The key is picking and choosing your preferred pronunciation to attain the desired results.  For example:  the “k” in “Phuket” (usually pronounced “poo-ket”), as you may have guessed, actually belongs in the first syllable of the word, and the “ph” sound should be pronounced as an “f”.  The “et” should just be changed to “it,”  for added sophistication.

Now, in contrast, let’s take a look at Ko Phi Phi.  I think Dan would tell you that the Phi Phi islands, said “pee pee,” are perfect just the way they are, although a spelling correction might be in order.  Same goes for the Phuping Palace up in Chiang Mai.  Sadly, we did not get to see the Phuping Palace and thereby realize this opportunity for comedic gold.  Still, all was not lost- Dan did get a snapshot of the Phuping Police Station.  Thank heavens.

Cats, and all other animals (except spiders):  HIGH

One of the greatest challenges of our travels was keeping an eye on my cousin Danielle to make sure she didn’t try to pocket any stray creatures or hug a rabid dog.  Every time there was a kitty sighting I bade farewell to the next ten minutes of my life while Danielle tried to score a cuddle.  Cats, dogs, tigers, monkeys, lizards, frogs, elephants.  Double points for a baby.  On that ill-fated night that the Phi Phi party scene got the best of me, Dan brought a stray kitty into our bungalow and officially won the title of “Grand Cousin Supreme for Eternity.” Danielle took turns distributing water—a sip for Christine, a lap for the cat, repeat. (Then the boys shut it in a glass cabinet and laughed)

Spiders: LOW

Danielle approached all Thailand’s creatures with big smiles and open arms.  Except spiders.  Thailand had far too many giant arachnids for her taste.  This was a low for Danielle, but a high for the rest of us who got to kick back and enjoy watching her make a scene 🙂

Sticky rice: HIGH for overall goodness; LOW for availability

I told you this stuff was good!  The sibs had their first run-in with the glory that is sticky rice while sitting cross-legged on the floor of a Karen tribal chief’s home.  Our trekking guide dug servings out of a cooler with his bare mid-trek hands and tossed it into our bowls, and just like that, my cousin Danielle’s lust for the sticky starchy goodness began.  Or should I say obsession? Poor girl.  After we left the north, jetting down south in search of fishies and palm trees, sticky rice became no more than a teasing desert mirage in the tropical Thai heat. “Seafood!  Som Tam!  Sticky Rice!” one sign advertised, winning our business with those two magically carbo-loaded words. But, the moment we tried to order it, just like that, the mirage was gone.  They were out, and we had to spend the rest of the day in search of furry creatures to raise her spirits.

Sitting cross-legged: LOW

There are some things in life you take for granted.  Little did I know, the cross-legged position is an elite posture requiring skill and agility that some (ahem, Kevin) just don’t possess.  It is a taboo in Thailand point your feet towards anyone, so stretching the legs out while seated usually isn’t an option. My brother-in-law struggled. Each time Kevin managed to fold himself up, we had to hold our breaths to see if he’d manage to untangle again.

Heat: very high, but LOW

After sweating through his third shirt that day, Kevin requested that next time I up and move somewhere crazy, it be 10 degrees cooler.  He suggested Nebraska.

Prevalence of phalluses: HIGH

No pun intended.  Anyhow, male genitalia seemed to pop up (haha… but that one was!) everywhere on this trip.  A giant sculpture on Ko Phi Phi Don was perhaps the first surprise, but the Phra Nang Cave on Railay Island was especially “happy to see us.” The cave is filled with hundreds upon hundreds of phallic wood carvings– offerings to a seemingly sexually frustrated princess-ghost.  Also, every postcard display we saw down south featured elephants and their, well… “down-souths”.  A local man we met in Khao Sok National Park who went by “Jungle Man” shared a warming tale of a naked man with his head in a tree and a bear hungry for some “fruit.”

Wats (temples): HIGH

A what? A wat!  A what? A wat? A what? That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!

Countless opportunities for the cheese factor.  I wish I could say it never got old…

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Stairs: very very high, and yet… LOW

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We climbed so many freaking staircases on this trip!  I do not know where they all came from, but all of the sudden my family showed up and Thailand became one massive uphill climb.  Everywhere we went- temples, guesthouses, look-out points… each one with more stairs than the last.  Around step number fifty-thousand, it started feeling a tad bit masochistic.

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Bangkok Taxi Cabs: LOW

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Bangkok cab drivers are pretty easy going — they’ll let you squish 5 people and all of your luggage into one regular-sized taxi if you can tough out the cramped ride, and meter cab fare is absurdly cheap.  All they ask in return is that you follow their seven simple rules:

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No titty-grabbing, no durian fruit, no alcohol, no foxes, no banging, no weaponry, no farting….

This, of course, didn’t fly for either of the Dans. Danielle was pretty upset to leave her fox behind and Dan had a lot of trouble holding in #7.

… and last but certainly not least…

Peachy: HIGH

Thailand’s got loads of elephants, but Erin and Kevin were lucky to ride the best elephant in all of Thailand.  His name was Peachy and he dominates everything. He’ll be starring alongside Hulky and the gang in The Advengers 2.

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So there you have it, folks! This is the Thailand that the guidebooks don’t tell you about.   Thailand as only a group of siblings/ cousins with a penchant for banal humor and an enthusiasm for each others’ company can experience it.

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Oh, and sorry…you kind of had to be there.

Let her eat cake!

I’m sitting on a train that’s slowly chugging its way through the Thai countryside, bound for the rural, reticent, and remote northeast region of Thailand.

Thus far, Issan, as it’s called, has been little more to me than the elusive, far-flung land where some of my most favorite Thai flavors were born—spicy som tam salad, that ever-seductive sticky rice, and the sassy lemon-zing of lahb… no desserts, of course– Thailand is not known for its sweets.  Although seasoned with scattered Khmer ruins and a healthy number of national parks, including Khao Yai at the very base of the region, Issan somehow manages to evade the attention of the tourist trail.  Nearing the end of my month-long holiday, tired after the non-stop action and adventure of my recent family visits, I’m ready to slow it down a couple of notches, and I’ve got a feeling that Issan will be just my speed.

This is, after all, very much like how my month began, and there is something very nice about that circularity—it is my vaca-denouement, if you will.  Except instead of heading northeast, solo on a 7 hour train ride, I started off the month of travel going northwest, in the company of my parents, en route to the mystical town of Sangkhlaburi.

Sangkhlaburi.  Oh, Sangkhlaburi!  It is, without a doubt, my favorite spot in Thailand that I’ve visited so far.  Just miles from the Burmese border, Sangkhlaburi is the most idyllic, mist-shrouded little town– surrounded by purple mountain silhouettes, furtive jungle, and steeped in a medley of Thai, Mon, Karen, and Burmese culture.  Ramshackle houses built on stilts line the Khao Laem Reservoir, as pontoon-like raft-houses with floating bamboo walkways calmly await the rising waters of monsoon season.  The longest wooden bridge in Thailand connects the Thai town to a Mon village on the opposite bank.  During the day, women can be seen crossing the bridge baring heavy loads on their heads, while at night, rooster-headed lampposts light up like two lines of stars across the silken black waters.

Getting to Sangkhlaburi was no easy feat.  The first van driver we tried to hire turned us down because he didn’t want to drive those roads at nighttime, and once we were finally twisting and climbing our way up and around the mountains, I understood why.  Thai people are not renowned for being especially safe drivers, alternating between whichever side of the road most strikes their fancies and/or  patience at any given moment. But our guy was honking his horn at every bend in the road, and I cringed with uncertainty each time he embarked on the climb, praying to all that is good in the world that another car didn’t come flying down the thin mountain road to make us forfeit our patch of pavement.  After a couple hours making our way through civilization, followed by a couple more winding through the mountains of upper Kanchanaburi province in the dark, I think my parents must have been wondering where in hell I had decided to bring them, but when we arrived in Sangkhlaburi, it was well worth our efforts.

Our first day in Sangkhlaburi was spent exploring the Mon village across the way– visiting an Indian-influenced Burmese temple that we agreed, though interesting, was far more beautiful from afar than up close, and stumbling upon a beautiful and sprawling forested monastery that looked and sounded nearly deserted, if not for a bunch of inbred dogs and the monks’ loud and hypnotic chants.  Walking back across the wooden bridge to our guesthouse, we befriended a gang of little Mon boys who were very proud to have captured a blue-headed rango lizard (as they called it… I certainly don’t know my lizards).  I took out my camera to document their accomplishment, and the little guy managed to squirm out of their grasp and right over the edge of the bridge before I got my shot.  The boys scrambled down the (very tall) wooden legs of the bridge to recapture their hostage as Mom and Dad and I continued on our way to find some lunch, but just before we reached the other side of the bridge we turned around to the sound of joyful screams and squeals, our friends sprinting to catch up with us, their arms flailing in the air as they presented the reclaimed (or, more likely, a brand-spanking-new) victim.  The boys, Rango, and I all posed for a photo, and they squealed even louder when we showed them the picture on my digital camera.

We capped the day off with a swim and a long-tail boat ride out to the sunken temple from the old flooded Mon village to watch the sun set, and our night was spent sipping Singhas/horrible, chilled Thai red wine that we ordered, regrettably, upon my request, tasting new Thai dishes, and playing three-person games of Hearts (during which my Dad failed to win the world-championship, if my memory serves me.  All of Thailand cried.).

Day two in Sangkhlaburi was Adventure Day!  When tourists visit Thailand, high priority on everyone’s bucket list seems to be riding on elephant-back.  I’ve done this now with every round of visitors I’ve hosted, but this Sangkhlaburi tour with my parents was in a class all it’s own.  We arrived by pick-up truck in a Karen tribe village following another reservoir boat ride around the towering waterside cliffs and floating community, and it was here that we met our pachydermal friends.  The elephants looked happy and healthy and well-taken care of, and as my mom and I sat perched on top they carried us past jungle-clad mountains and over river waters where kids were cooling off and women were washing the clothes.  Observing Thai hilltribe people going about their lives from atop these mammoth creatures added an element to the experience that elevated it (no pun intended) beyond your average guided pony-ride around a pole.  And for the return trip, we waved goodbye to Dumbo and the gang and mounted bamboo rafts, floating downstream past the same majestic vistas and some bathing water-buffalo on our way.

Being here in Thailand on my own is right for right now. It is an experience that I craved, and because of that I am hopeful and confident that I have a lot to gain from it.  But the sad part is that you can’t always have your cake and eat it too.  If what I crave is travel and adventure, it means leaving the people I love most while I go in search of that. And  sometimes, traveling on your own, or even with friends– but friends from distant places who come from different backgrounds and have different visions for the future, and with whom you really can’t ever be certain when your paths will cross again—you miss out on the post-travel. The “remember when?”- part-of-travel, when you get to relive it all through the stories and perspectives and recollections of your companions. Sitting beside my mom on top of our elephant buddy, admiring the vast Asian landscape together, this is what I was grateful for.  I know that, in all of my travels in Thailand and beyond, Sangkhlaburi is a place that will stick with me, and for that reason I am glad to have shared it with my parents.  Instead of returning home to the U.S. and saying to my parents “Hey Mom and Dad! I visited the most perfectly beautiful and tranquil place… it was called Sangkhlaburi!” I will be able to say, “Hey Mom and Dad! Remember when we went to Sangkhlaburi?”… and that is the really special part.  Sangkhlaburi was an excellent place for us to both check a couple items off the tourist bucket-list and experience some true and authentic Thai culture, but really, every place we went and experience we had was made more special, more memorable, by our being together.  So, it has been a good month. Despite Thailand’s poor selection of dessert items,  throughout my parents’ visit and my siblings’ soon after, I’ve gotten to both have and eat a lot of cake. 🙂

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(More photos to come– my camera is without its cord at the moment.  In the meantime, I’ve posted some of my parents’ shots.)

Tick Tock

Today is killer.

It’s been 5 months since I’ve been in Thailand.  Five months since I’ve been able to hug my mom and dad.  Skype has been a loyal friend when no other option was available, but it definitely leaves much to be desired.  And now my parents are in Thailand.  In Thailand and seeing the sights in Bangkok, while I am sitting in the office in between summer school lessons, helplessly at the mercy of the second’s hand, crawling at its leisure.

Honestly, this whole month has been cruel torture.  You know as you begin a marathon that you’re in it for the long haul, and there is a quiet and peaceful acceptance.  You find your rhythm and your pace and you appreciate the scenery and encouraging cheers of the crowds as you pass.  You commit.  But man oh man… getting myself up and off of my tush for a three mile jog is an arduous task.  Instead of that acceptance, that commitment, that sense of ” becoming “one” with time, I usually just want it to be over with.  It is only three miles, but with the finish line so close, it feels like fifty.

That is what today is– a three mile run.  Make that a three mile run, hungover on a Sunday morning.  Until recently, I haven’t been so antsy.  I knew it would be a long haul, and I had settled into that idea.  But now, my parents are in Bangkok, and have been since Wednesday night.  And here I am in Suphan, struggling through the longest day of all time.  It is just one day.  One measly day.  But with each passing moment I become more anxious, more impatient for the bell to ring so that I can hop the first van to meet them in BKK.

And how sweet that bell will sound.  Not only will it mark the end of summer school (with the small and painful exception of some meetings next week), but the start of a month of family and travel.  I am so amped to see my mom and dad, followed by sis, bro, brother-in-law and cousin, and show them everything I love to see and hear and say and eat and do in Thailand.  Here’s how it’a all going down:

*HUA HIN this weekend with my parents for fresh Thai seafood, beach bumming, bike riding, Muay Thai-watching, St. Paddy’s Day celebrating and (g-d willing) some real, flavorful, imported beer-drinking

*SUPHAN to wrap things up at school and show the rents my home digs. Pad Thai Lady, Noodle Man, som tam, and Cowboy Bar– they’ll be getting the full-throttle Suphan-X-perience

*SANGKHLABURI for misty river vistas, village wandering, elephant riding, and jungle trekking,

*BANGKOK to say goodbye :(, then onto

*CHIANG MAI for a few days of Thai lessons, followed by cooking lessons, temple visits, and hill-tribe treks with my siblings/cousin

*PHI-PHI ISLANDS, with limestone karst formations above and coral reefs below, and finally

*KHAO SOK to explore the world’s oldest rainforest.

*BANGKOK for some more goodbyes 😦

*annnd AYUTTHAYA for my obligatory 90-day Visa check-in

After that, I will go where the wind blows me.  I’ll have another week and a half before Summer School Part II begins, and I don’t know where I’ll be headed but I’ll try and keep you all posted along the way.

Okay.  I’m outty. Lataaaaa!